CrimsonDove's Xanga

~Violence vs... I don't know what...~

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 02:54:58 GMT

I spent a lovely time at my Mother's recently... until the last day... a few minutes before we were about to go... and my aunt started to scream at my daughter... and My Ma stepped in and told her not to... my aunt told her to shut her F'ing mouth... and it went on from there... I told my aunt that she had to stop screaming at my children, myself... and my mother... that I would not accept it anylonger, (and she has been a tyrant with my children and I for a long time.... we have no car... and because we NEEDED her to help us... she could do as she wanted.... now i'm stuck... very stuck... but anyway... ) that it had to stop... and she unleashed...

After the police watched her leave the property... things crumbled more...

This woman... hit my Mother... she hit me as well... but as the title of the book i'm reading says.... 'Break my bones... but not my heart..."

This broke me...

And i'm SO over being broken...

Why do people think they have a right to hurt others??? They don't! My mother has Fibro Myalgia (sp) and severe arthritus in her hands... and she is in so much pain... i'm over people hurting my family... yes.. I can scream why why why... sometimes I think i'm a modern day Job... even though I know in my heart i'm not... I know God is there... somewhere.. he is watching over me... I just wish I knew his plan... so it didn't all feel so bad.

oooOOOooo

This one is for My bro William... You'll Understand...

Momentary Darkness

Like a fog... drifting slowly

Moving over me...

Consuming...

Pushing gently against it.

Can you still see the light?

Iridescent

Burning within

Pushing away... pushing away

But it seeps in... haunting me... consuming, overtaking once again

Dispair... how does it find me?

Is it my doubts?

Is it my fears?

Why are they birthed... then rebirthed once they have died.

Is it the seed that remains within my tortured soul?

But it's on the mend... well it was...

Creeping... creeping

It's still seeping

Where will I go?

Where will I run?

Where will I hide?

The arms of my Saviour?

But how can I find them?

Lost amidst the forest

Tendrils... branches... like fingers they scratch at me...

tear at my flesh.. bruise me...

Over and over and over

The nightmares

The horror...

Release me

I want to fly again

Mend these broken wings

Heal the hurt

Deep... so deep... within my soul... my flesh... my body.

HELP ME...

~More...~

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:51:38 GMT

Sorry... Just not up to typing all about the issues of the week... so throwing in a few more of those weird quizes.. these ones are thanks to my Bro...

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack,
I've been too long, I'm glad to be back"

Things tend to get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos.
But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

What Your Socks Say About You

You Are:

- Quite cuddly
- Downright adorable
- Truly kind
- Infinitely patient

The Socks Personality Test

Atleast that last one was right..... DOWNRIGHT ADORABLE!!!

You See the World Through Orange Colored Glasses

You live your live with enthusiasm. You enjoy what you have, and you are determined to live a happy life.
You judge all your interactions through the lens of curiosity. You are genuinely interested in other people and tend not to be judgmental.

You face challenges with a playful attitude. You are determined to succeed, and a part of you enjoys any challenge.
You see love as the utmost expression of creativity. For you, love is about building a unique and interesting life together.

At your worst, you are irritable and burned out. Sometimes you burn too brightly.
You are happiest when you are given free reign to explore, create, and play.

What Color Glasses Do You See the World Through?

Ok.. That was about the truest one I have EVER done...

You Are A Blue Girl

Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you.
You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.
If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.
You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What Color Girl Are You?

OH.. ok, they did pretty good with that one too!!!

You are a Knife

You are precise, determined, and detail oriented.
You mean what you say, and you say what you mean.

You enjoy taking risks and living on the edge.
You are a controversial person. You opinions tend to be divisive.

What Utensil Are You?

Right... Interesting...

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional.
You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it.
You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out.

Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable.
Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there.
You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Uhhu...

You Are the Sense of Sound

You love to talk, but you also love to listen.
You are simply a natural conversationalist.
You can have a deep conversation that lasts for hours and come out of it feeling energized.

You have a good ear for foreign languages and accents of all sorts.
You can imitate people quite well.
You also are a huge lover of music. You probably love music more than most people you know.

Which of the Five Senses Are You?

Correct Again...

What These Roses Say About You

You are a classic romantic who believes in true love.
You often experience deep emotions and feel warmth toward almost everyone.

You are a bundle of positive feelings and sweetness.
You can are easily hurt, and people should be careful with your heart.

What Do The Flowers You Pick Say About You?

~Autumn Test...~

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 03:12:02 GMT

Thanks to Leanna and Lass for this lovely little Quiz xox

Your Autumn Test Results

You are a dynamic, vibrant person. You aren't afraid to pursue your passions.

When you are happiest, you are calm. You appreciate tradition and family. You enjoy feeling cozy.

You embrace change. You love change. You see change as a rebirth.

You find hard work to be the most comforting thing in the world. You like the feeling of accomplishing something.

Your ideal day is spent in contemplation. You enjoy a quiet day where you can take time to think and day dream.

You tend to live in the moment. You enjoy whatever is going on, and you don't obsess over the past or future.

The Autumn Test

~Aussie Etiquette...~

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 09:36:17 GMT

But before that:

My daughter Rebekah is receiving an award on next Tuesday.. a Level B Certificate of Commendation which reflects consistently high standards of conduct, industry and attitude.

I'm SO SO SO Proud!!!

oOOOo

Now for... AUSSIE ETIQUETTE

IN GENERAL

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.

3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take
your ute and trailer to the funeral.

DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.

2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.

3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.

4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.

DATING

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.

2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: 'I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago.'

3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say 'Monday.' If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.

2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. ( I HAVE done this!!!)

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummer- bund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for the occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.

2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way. (Oh... YES IT DOES!!!)

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

The REALLY freaky thing here... is alot of this Aussies DO!!! Oh... and I must admit, i'm guilty of a few!

~THEFT!!!...~

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 02:24:28 GMT

This is a giggle for Gwen... aka

awarriorprincess

and the rest of us girls...

oooOOOooo

IMPORTANT MESSAGE Theft Problem:
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrus h. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

~Wow...~

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 09:21:01 GMT

I have left the fire brigade as you all know.

Now on Thursdays I am working at my church... (vollie) helping our Care Pastor with Project Dove... which helps people and children living in Domestic Violence.

I am SO tired.. have had a huge day...

Oh Bro... our Care Pastor is going to preach from The Shack... how awesome is THAT!!!

Will update everyone soon...

Oh... Bj is doing well... I just pray that he hears the still small voice of God calling to him... or maybe I should ask God to turn up the volume a bit!

My other two youngest are doing wonderful!!!

OH... I think I am addicted to WWE wrestling!

Love to you all,

~Dani~

~Im Alive...~

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:48:34 GMT

Sorry everyone... my email is playing up something shocking.. I can receive them, but not send. I am getting the computer reformatted next Saturday.... YAY!!!

My daughter is driving me insane.... this is nothin new... LOL...

Hope you are all doing well out there!!! Let me know how you are please

~Dani~

~I really don't know what to put here...~

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 05:49:19 GMT

2 days ago... I left the fire brigade.

It ripped my heart out... I have major issues with one of my EX bosses... who happens to be the very undeserving partner of one of my also seemingly eX friends... but alas... lewd, undesirable men... I have no need of in my life... and women that are happy to stay with someone that is controlling, and 'mean' to her kids... have no place either. When her life falls apart again... i'll be here waiting with open arms. It's sad when people are happy to live within pain and heartache... to satisfy an ungodly lust... but alas... humans will be unashamedly humans.

I miss you Bunny.

The other reason... it's time to move on. As my boss... well.. the other wonderful one... who is now somewhat ex too.. Buttercup.. said:

"You have alot to do within the church... and a long way to go with Teen Challange... this is YOU... you made the right choice."

Amen to that!

I really struggled with losing this part of my identity, and cried all that day and night. It's one of the hardest choices that I have had to make... but My Father fills the gaps... and time with Him is well needed.

My friend Carlie said:

"What God has in store for you... is far greater then any bushfire you have fought"

I then remember Narrabri... and know that she is right.

My God is an AWESOME God... and HE reigns!!!

Sorry I havn't been in touch... I have been having internet troubles... email troubles... it all bites...

But i'm alive... the kids are well... the kitties are well...

Oh!!! Bro... Check out the book i'm reading...

Miss you all!!!

Love in Jesus,

~DAni~

~Sundays...~

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:34:41 GMT

I love Church... Woah... Love it...

Reading Renegade at the moment.. T3d is just So awesome... and his movie thr3e is waiting at the bookstore for me to pick it up...

My boy came to church last night.. it was So awesome.

He moved back to my aunt's afterwards, an answer to prayers.

What a week... a nightmare... but you know.. at the end of every nightmare... is church.. woo hoo... Thank God For Sundays!!!

Love to you all...

~Dani~

~Fresh Start...~

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 22:05:41 GMT

Today is a new day...

I'm not really sure why it is... but it is.